Thursday, April 30, 2015

To Be Here, Now.

It is almost funny - 

That about a year ago I was being unwound suddenly, seams slowly 
coming apart in a life I had unknowingly or subconsciously been building for myself
in a city (now many miles away). 

Never have I felt to that extent and it was heartbreaking. I thought of friends
and family and memories that I would be leaving behind. 
In many ways the decision felt like the only option I had left, to escape what I did not want to feel
or remember. To this day I do not think my choices were right or wrong,
they merely have become a sequence of events that have made up my recent life. 

"To become a vague memory ..." That was my fear.

To be true, memory becomes vague over time. Freckles become blurred, disappear. 
People change, grow, disappoint you. Enliven you.

Soon I will be traveling with a friend to the unknown wilderness
and we'll make a project and talk over miles we'll gain on the road. 
I'll document it & us & surely continue to remember and re-live past events that have had such an affect on my life. 

These travels too will become hazy memories in time, but they will be mine and mine alone,
and I look forward to burying a few memories, a few small stones in the ground.

Monday, April 6, 2015